Friday, November 10, 2006

Candyland

I am a candyaholic. I can't help myself. I love it. If I can see it, I'm eating it. If I know where I can find some, I go back for more and more. The only way for me not to eat candy is to simply not have any access to it. Last week at work the admin came around with a giant box of assorted candy and snacks. She plops it down next to my desk and says, "here you go", and she walks off. I quickly call her back and ask what I'm supposed to do with it. She tells me to put it in my desk, it's for the team. I try to get her to take it. I try to get one of my peers to take it and hold it with their stash. No one will. I reluctantly cleared out a drawer and filled it up. Since this time it's been terrible. I can't stay out of the drawer. I've tried locking it. But that doesn't work because I need the files in the top drawer and the lock locks or unlocks both drawers. I've tried forgetting about it. This works for a few hours. But not long enough. I've tried eating something else when I think about getting into the drawer. This only works until I've finished eating what I got from the cafeteria and then I reason it's ok to have a little something. I've practically begged others to help me out and take my stash. But they just laugh at me.
Well last night I think all the sugar has gone to my subconscious. I had a very odd dream. I don't remember it exactly. But what I do remember is that there was a cake. A big 7 layer Napoleon cake. There really is no such thing as a 7 layer Napoleon cake. This is something that only exists in my dream. And by 7 layers, it's not 7 layers of cake, but icing! One layer of yellow cake, then a chocolate/strawberry/chocolate layers of icing, another yellow cake, another chocolate/strawberry/chocolate, yellow and then the outside is all chocolate.
Besides making up this imaginary cake. I was also fighting over this cake with my mom. I don't know why, but it was her cake and I wanted it. Which is also odd, because I don't even like chocolate icing. I woke up feeling oddly upset at the loss of my cake. I think I need help.

2 comments:

samantha said...

Flush the candy down the toilet. It is the only thing that can save you now.

Trust me... I know.

megA said...

HA! This is the best!

My philosophy?

The faster I eat it, the faster it is gone and thus I won't be able to eat it anymore.